Monday, November 28, 2011

A new day...

<-----Picture of the family from Halloween. Dont' have a picture from today, though I don't think you want to see what I look like today. That is my amazing, patient, sports-enthusiast hubby, my brilliant, smart, God-loving daughter, and my cute-as-a-button, mischevious, smart-as-a-whip son.

So I got up this morning...(that's a good way to start I suppose). I have a day off and decided to take the kiddos to day care so I can finish Christmas shopping. So far I have been to Starbucks (that darn Siren on the cup called me), the gym, home, and have yet to buy a single gift. I do have an eye appointment at 2 so I am at least going to be somewhat productive today. I don't feel bad about taking the kiddos to day-care. As you can read in my profile, I am a recovering only-child who thrives in quiet, alone time. If fact, I have learned that if I don't get it, I become moody, frustrated, impatient, and (at times) very weepy. It turns into yelling matches with kids about hair and socks, silent treatments towards to hubby for no reason at all, and me hiding in the bathroom for extended periods of time playing Bejeweled on my phone. So "buying" a couple hours where I know my kids are safe, warm, having fun, and are together is so worth it, both for them, me, and the hubby. Don't judge...=) I had a strong desire to create a forum for me to verbally spew my thoughts on this journey of life. If you indeed read my profile you will see that I sometimes get distracted and don't finish my projects that I start, so at times, expect a lapse in posts...I am not good on follow through. But with a new year approaching I like to have goals in place before the ball drops.

One of my journeys is losing weight, always has been in fact. I was never a skinny kid, well, I was until about 4 maybe? This is where I blame me becoming a lover of food. Turns out, for the the first few years I struggled my tonsils and adnoids (sp?). Struggled breathing, sinuses were always a mess, and ear infections abound. Once effect was that I hating eating because I couldn't breathe while I at (at least what mom says). So at 4, I had my adnoids (once again sp?) removed. Suddenly...eating was not longer a suffocating experience, enjoyable actually, and food had flavor. My mom tells me that I then became a child who was happy to eat her meal. Now how accurate this is, I do not know, I was 4. So you see?!?! That is how it all least, that's my story and I am sticking to it. Unfortunately, my love of food has never gone away. So I have struggled, felt and still feel insecure, embarrassed, frustrated, at times apathetic about my weight and body. I have a had some successes...Weight Watchers in 2000...lost 20+ pounds...found it again...had a baby and then lost some of the baby weight...found that again too...joined the gym and got a trainer...had another baby so all that weight I lost with the trainer I found here I am. I have started a running training program, C25k. I have many friends who have starting running and they have inspired me. I jumped in and made it to the 8 week...then pooped out...woke up one day too tired to go and then didn't see it again until today (7 weeks later). So today at the gym I ran on the treadmill. I was so glad to see that I hadn't lost my running ability. It wasn't all there, but it wasn't reminescent of my first C25K day when just running 60 second about sent me over the edge.

So there you have it...the first day of my journey...well, not my first day, but the first day of putting out there for all the cyberspace to see...(this is the part where my mom freaks out..."why would you put personal information out on the web?" I didn't give anybody my SS# so were good).

If you made it until the end, you are indeed a trooper. This blog is just an outpouring of my heart and mind...written for myself really and no one else. But if you can relate...then I have a new friend.

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